


Blowing off Steam

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Relationship, implied Wash/CT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>South feels like she's just there when Wash needs something quick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blowing off Steam

Am I just here for you to blow off steam?

The question cut into her. It wasn’t one she had said aloud to anyone, but it still hurt. She wondered, with all those late nights. All that talking. How much did any of it mean to him? She knew how much it meant to her, even if the full depth of everything was never revealed fully. She just found herself wondering if there was much of a point to it anymore.

Are you just using me because you’re lonely?

The scribble of the pen as the question mark was completed felt like a scratch on her skin. She had all these questions she wanted to ask him but found that it was easier to keep them to herself. He had CT. He didn’t need her. Not like that. It is just an infatuation, she reminded herself for the umpteenth time, he doesn’t see you like that. Nor will he ever.

Footsteps rang out behind her, the clang of metal against the floor signaling their closeness. She turned, not looking the figure in the eye, but giving off a profile of her face to signal she was paying attention.

“Come on, South,” Wash called over to her, “you’re next up for drills. Hurry up.”

Why do I love you? She scribbled on the paper before wadding it up and throwing it in her locker. She grabbed her helmet, clicking it into place as she let out a low growl, so no one would suspect she had fresh tear trails on her face.

She made her way down to the training room, allowing her saunter to not give away anything going on. The armor protected her in so many ways these days that she felt like she should thank the director for letting her hide her feelings. She picked up a pistol, sliding the clip in. Loading it, the training room floor slid its changes into view. She found herself going through the motions of her stealth training, dodging the drones and immobilizing them. She had allowed herself to grow complacent in her ability to pass this test that she hadn’t noticed human opponents enter the training room floor. Her clue came when the butt of a pistol connected to the back of her helmet.

 

“Agent South Dakota, test failed. Return to the locker room,” said the Director over the intercom.

 

She spun around, the glare not penetrating through the visor of her helmet. She stomped off to the locker room, muttering into the space of her helmet after turning off the microphone. She found her brother first, shoving past him as he and Theta stared at her. She stripped off her armor plating, tossing each piece unceremoniously into her locker. South shook out her hair, blonde littering her vision as she wiped her hands across her face. She slipped her journal from her locker into a fold in her bodysuit.

I can’t really do anything right. What fucking ever.

 

She dropped her shoulder and checked York towards a locker after stripping off her armor plating, leaving her in the black body suit under the armor. She stomped to her room, locking the door behind her and hoping North would take the hint and not come after her for a while. There’s so much we share. So much we have to share. So much we want to share and can’t. I want to be able to tell my brother that I’m in love with one of our teammates. I want to scream it. But I know that deep down, it would never work. I know that there isn’t even a point of acting on it. I wish I could tell you this brother, but I don’t think you would understand.

 

She clapped the journal shut again, winding the leather strap around the clasp. She tucked the pen into the fold of the spine so as not to lose it. She set the journal on the nightstand, peeling away the many pieces that made up the armored bodysuit. Each piece was carefully folded and put into the trunk at the foot of her bed. She heard a knock as she clasped it shut, eyeing the door, but ignoring the sound.

 

“Sis, I know you’re in there.” North’s words were muffled through the thickness of the door. She shot a glare to where she knew he was standing.

 

“Just don’t close everyone off. Please. I don’t want you to feel alone.”

 

She pulled on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, the fabric hanging loosely as she realized it belonged to North. Why am I pushing him away when he’s the only one I can count on?

 

The mattress creaked under her frame as she settled, pulling her knees up for her back lay flat. Since when do these four walls feel this confining? The clicking of a lock opening turned her attention to the door as North entered, shutting it behind him and relocking it.

 

There were no words. He sat next to her, stroking her hair as a tear rolled down her cheek. Her hand found his, and he pulled her up to hug her. He pressed her back against his side, keeping her from running away and being shut out of whatever pain that she was dealing with, even if she never said anything about it.

 

“Don’t ever feel like you can’t lean on me.”

 

“What would I ever do without you,” she asked, hugging his arms against her chest.


End file.
